Changes

i've nvr liked changes. especially those negative changes. and how will i react to the changes? i will keep quiet and asked myself "what happened?" but we all knw that nothing is permanent and that change is a necessary phenomenon. change is continuous, steady and driven by a cause. but then again, we must learn how to accept it. despite its falling short or exceeding my specifications.

when i first entered my secondary school, i was with my childhood bestfriend. we were in the same class and we noticed that there's 2 girls looking at us. we joked "maybe we are pretty that's y they kept looking at us." so it was time for the tour ard the school. the 2 girls was our classmate. one of them pretty tall while the other looks good with her specs. the tall girl came up to me w/o saying hello but this, "awak lawa.." i gave her one sincere small and from the way she talked to me, i knw she was a decent, nice girl. from then on, we talked quite a lot to each other rather than staring. we became close. very close. whenever i was top in class, she will strive to do better than me. she took me as her challenge back then. whenever she got marks higher than me, even 1 mark, i can see her beaming. i was nvr taken aback by all that cause i treated her like my bestfren. however, things started to change when we were in upper secondary. she was much closer to her classmate cause i was no longer her classmate back then. sometimes, we didn't even have lunch together. and i was getting more uncomfortable with her cause we lack of topics to talk abt since we were in different stream. i bet she felt the same way like i did. we did not talk alot from then on.

years passed and the last time i met her was last March. the same old person i once knew. after 6 months of nt meeting her, i met her just last few days. can i breakdown at that spot and show everyone the disappointed tears that was rolling down my cheeks? no, i won't. cause i bottled up my feelings. the young, decent, innocent girl i once knw changed so much right in front of my eyes. she did not even say hello or hi. no, nth. i sat next to her and she still didn't say anything. she changed so much that i could not accept it. the girl who used to hate and reprimand her friends for smoking is now smoking right in front of my eyes. y must u change? was it because of your imperfect relationship? your dreams and ambitions was all dashed? or maybe because of the influence in your school? was that the reason? please enlightened me. among us, u were the one with big ambitions, big dreams. u desired to get into JC while all of us will be contented with just poly. u are not the only one who changed. even my own bestfriend changed. she started picking up smoking when she despised us back then when we were smoking. she pierced and she's no longer the girlish person i knw.

why must changes happen to my bestfriend? im trying to change myself into a better person. but wat happened to u girls.. i am disappointed. but i knw, i will get used to this changes cause u have your own principles an i haf my own. our circle of friends is totally different. i will try to adapt to this.. i will. =')