i gt so excited when i got to know that im able to dld videos from youtube instead of using the infamous Limewire. i dld-ed quite a number of songs and up to date, i've already downloaded 12. seriously, i was like so jakun.

i downloaded those songs that i hear when i was in my pri sch days up to sec 1. those typical boybands and when u watch them, u will laugh at their boyband styles. that's what naqiah and i did in the library yesterday. i've got a few fave boybands and one of them is Blue. no, not the Blue thingy u teenagers like to watch but the boyband named Blue. i seriously thinks that they got their name after the Blue film. horny guys huhhhh.. my fave guy in the Blue grp haf got to be Lee Ryan. he resembles one of my sch mate back then. hahaha. henseem okk..
i was so crazy abt him that i actually bought the same necklace like his. he wore this rectangle necklace in "If u come back" video clip. i like the necklace so much that i wore it wherever i go. even to school! but not once did i gt caught by any teachers for wearing necklace to school. i even got a big poster of him in my room and the funniest thing was i feel so sad when he wore a cross necklace in one of the vid. thinking that he's the free thinker and who knws i can marry him one day and tell him to join Islam. haha. i gt jealous whenever he hugs and kiss those girls especially in the "u make me wanna" video clip. i can't believe that im sooo crazy abt him. hehehe. he was my obsession.

you will be my next obsession.

did u girls ever feel that way? if u dont, then im the weird one. lol.

im halfway through the User guide. Naqiah going to continue from where i stop.
i fast today and i swear the feeling is not the same as u fast during the month of Ramadhan.
yasa and i had to stand all the way from Yio Chu Kang to Yew Tee. i can't stand the smell and there's like no air ventilation. i almost fainted i tell u. and that guy is very ganas, thanks eh yasa pijak kaki aku sampai berdarah.

i break fast by eating a pie that yasa recommend me. and it's my mistake to drink pepsi after that. i suffered a very bad tummyache till my face turns blue. it's that bad actually. let me list down things to be done.

school stuffs
French test
2766 presentation
COS presentation

all will be done by this week.

next wk no school, only MDI lab test.

HOORAAYY!

so lydia and i kpo-ly followed my grandparents to Norfasarie & Baihakki wedding at Anchorvale Link, Sengkang. we reached there at ard 3:30pm and the parking there was terribly congested with good looking vehicles. we walked towards the big tent and enter the wedding area. we saw the 2 of them on the dais and was walking towards the dining table to have their lunch. the decor was okay but the food was not as good as what we expected.

their wedding invitation.
Wedding car.
Dais.
Their Photos.

Lydia and i

Berkat

[DELETED]

let's just wish and pray that wk 16 will come soon so that i dun hafta do anymore projects cause to me, doing projects is tougher than studying for examinations.
we have that stucky RAD project and we still haven't start on COS. we three need a spanking on the butt so that we can buck up and be ahead of other grps. but nevertheless, let's hope things will gt better and 3/4 done by this wkend cause i got LOTS of plans on Sat. i shouldn't have won the ms universe if i knw that my Sat will be taken over by those tkder kerja paparazzi.
and one thing for sure, i can't wait to work during the hols. very random.

i had fun today with the 2 girls karaoke-ing over at my place. their initial plan is to go home, eat and slp. but they just can't resist my offer. we went to the tw market to gt the nice epok2 while i gt some food to eat since mum didn't cook anything. once we reached our place, aper lagi. melalak sepuas2nyer sampai penat. satu dah terbaring kat kerusi kejiwangan, lagi satu dgn telinga pekak, lagi satu dgn improvisasinya yg tk menjadi. they stayed till 5 since the BB boy was out with his parents.

the problem with me now is i gt nth to blog in my head and there's only VB solution there.
messagebox.show("Syirah ran out of ideas")
me.txtSyirah.Focus()

and u knw wat, i've nvr like thursday due to the long hours in school.

so finally i've reboot my laptop after a yr plus using it. it's no big deal actually cause my classmates have reboot theirs for like quite a number of times. im the last to do so since i've detected some viruses in my laptop. and instead of sticking to XP, i decided to use Vista for a change. im still getting used to it cause its rather complicated. but the designs is nice. sry, ketinggalan zaman.

i've already repaired my hard disk for only 22 bucks. so no more red flower at my hard disk casing since the person threw it away and insist that i have to change a new casing. a plain, boring black casing. but nevertheless, im happy cause its still functioning. there's just lots of important school stuffs in there.

ok just a short update. i will write more when im free from the projects.

and so the same thing happen again everyday.
making me wait for u to appear. giving me false hopes.
at the end of the day, i will end up being a fool.
i was fool too many times.

it's amazing that the 2 ppl close to me didn't trust me at all.

did u ever understand what i wanted from u?
if u only want to bring tears to my life everyday, pls don't exist right in front of me.
did u knw ever since last wk, our conversation ended up me crying for u everynight without fail.
if u can't take the risk of proving me wrg, u shudn't haf fall for me. fall for someone u knw. fall for someone who is ard u. fall for someone who is in the same country as u. y trouble urself falling for an ordinary S'pore girl.
that's the first mistake. and my biggest mistake is to accept u when i knw there's risks involved.
i have my frens and cousins not trusting me abt u. how am i to ans their qns when everytime they asked abt u. no one knws about u except a few whereby u can count using your fingers. i don't talked abt u to my frens. i told everyone i like no one. i even haf crushes in school. but i like none. if u think im such a burden to u and someone who forced u to come all the way here, then pack up and leave now if u dun haf any intention. wat's the point being together if it doesn't come from the bottom of your heart but you are doing it just because I TOLD U SO. tell me how many times have u make the right move. how many times i have to give u hint but sometimes u just don't get it. u always told me im selfish. yes, im selfish cause i need to prove them wrg. but think, how long u wanna make me wait for u if im not selfish? till im dead then u wanna come crying at my grave? by then, it's too late. u told me u don't wanna lose me but did u knw every little thing u do to hurt me causes me to drift apart from u and think negatively of u. i knw not everyone have their perfect fantasy, but it's okay. i nvr hope for it. cause everytime i hope for it, the result will end up in disappointment. there's a few times i hope for it to happen. but it didn't. that's the reason y my ans to u is "we'll see.." cause when the day comes, u will have a lot of excuses. u dun believe me? read back the conversation that we had. and u will notice how many excuses u came up with. even if those bad things really happened, then i will hafta admit that im a jinx in your life and god is trying to prevent u from seeing a jinx like me. if u think u still own my heart, do wat u hafta do. im not gonna say much.

u want me to tell u how i feel, and this is how i feel.

Fish & Co

look at the time.
its almost 4 and i haven't ate anything since morning.
not even a sip of water.
im craving for Fish & Co badly that no other food appeals me.
though im really hungry now, i somehow still can stand it.
maybe this is one way for me to lose weight.

but nevertheless, if anyone wants to go Fish & Co,tell me. i will be glad to join u.

im so disappointed to blog about anything.
once again, congrats to INK.
i will talk more abt the event tomorrow.

kini kehilangan sebuah harapan...

CICAK/LIZARD

i woke up quite late today at ard 12 since sch starts at 3. i will usually wake up late every friday cause 'kononnyer' i wanted to make up for the lost of slp i had the past few days. as any another friday, i will clean up the house before leaving. after i took a bath, i cooked prata hotdog which is my current fave now. while waiting for it to be cooked, i washed the piles of dishes at my sink. as i washed it one by one. the last thing left was a metal bowl. i freaked out when i saw a cicak in there and it's trying to crawl out. i don't knw who to ask for help to get rid of the cicak cause i was alone at home. usually it's either my bro or dad. i've nvr like cicak cause it's disgusting and to kill them is really hard. u cut the tail, it will grow back. i think the only way is to only 'pancung' them. but kesian right.. i saw the big knife near the sink and im really tempted to 'pancung' the cicak. but i dont want to see blood. oh wait, is their blood red or other colours? yiikkeesss..

i just leave that bowl behind. i boiled the hotdogs and u knw the hot water that i uses for boiling, aku mandikan the cicak with that. omg, the cicak melecur u knw. haha. im so bad ehh.. but it's still ALIVE. so i just leave it hiding behind the bowl. aslkan kau bahagia lah cak.. so i asked mum whether she saw that cicak. she said that the cicak was dead. i was like "wahh.." i supposed it must have been the cause of the boiling water. it's friday, and i killed a cicak. dpt pahala kan? =S
if a friend of mine is afraid of ants(yes, dont't laugh), im afraid of cicak. i can imagine it crawling at my body. errrkk..

as u knw, it's been a hectic and bzy wk for us. including next wk. we've yet to complete our Project for tomorrow presentation.
COS project is due next week. we have not even started anything on it cause most of us were bzy with our RAD project. im getting ready to chiong next wk till night for the project. worst still, i do not knw what to wear for my presentation since it's like every week there's one presentation. i feel like im running out of 'good', 'elegant' clothes. if only we could wear t-shirts and jeans, sandals for the presentation. that will make life easier huh..


yesterday, i went home early and sadly, i can't join the Dewi girls for Dikir. i was wearing skirt to sch cause i just gt to knw in the morning that dikir was brought forward to Tuesday and i already promised the girl to go through her homeworks with her. and gosh, her homework was just too many for me to cover in 1 and a half hour. as i was in the train alone, i started to slp. so on my way to yew tee, i embarassed myself. i was slping 'shiokly' when suddenly my head bang at the MRT glass window. everyone turn at me but i acted cool in front of them by pretending to msg someone when all i typed was something like "malunyerr akuuu.." ok im just trying to express how i feel by typing at the msg but nt sending it to anyone.
i saw some faces who laughed at me. like watever ehhh..
eh but nt as bad as Fizul who knocked his head at the glass door and the bang was much more 'dasyat'.


i promise myself im never gonna slp again in the train, ALONE.

its been a wk+ since our VO ended. i've been lazy nowadays to upload pictures at my blog. but since this event is a special one for me, i decided to upload it cause this is one of the event that i like the most and someting memorable for me.

my backstage members.
we are proud to present to you VoiceOut 2008/09.

Preparation before the whole event starts.


HQ and i have nth better to do and that explains this pic. i just hope he won't go after me for 40 cents. HAHAH.

This is all mine. MUAHAHA!

The whole committee.
Last but not least, i enjoy being the Asst Stage Manager. thank you Right wing for helping me out altho i get tense up easily.

i donnoe y but i feel insecure lately.
i donnoe if he's gonna be here. i donnoe if bad things will happen to him. i was just wondering y must something happened whenever i told him to be here. even if it's an excuse, aren't there better ones? i've always try my best to keep him out of my mind. i even promised a friend of mine that i won't think of him once he exceeded the time given. but look at what happened to me? i stick to him despite 100 times of advised was given to me and knwing that the time haf exceeded. sometimes, i was just wondering if ppl likes to prey on me just because i kept quiet of whatever is happening and im easily duped. am i too naive? i took ppl's word easily and trust them that i don't realize that they might just be lying their ass out. i don't doubt u. i just feel so insecure. =(

i've not been updating close to 2 wks. i seriously haf no time to blog cause i was bzy the whole of last wk with VO and also our project. so the days spent last wk was so hectic that i lack of slp. i realized that i was dragging my foot every morning to school.
so today was well spent with the 3 hot guys from my school. since the PPG plans to do the project tomorrow, i called up Ilyasa and decided to tag along. we went to Lot 1 to play at X Zone. racing, shooting, photo hunt, crazy taxi, we play all. i had fun with them altho im the only girl. im starting to dislike school due to the never ending RAD project. and the fact that im lazy to iron clothes everynight, i decided to just wear clothes that u dun need to iron. i guess i need to do more shopping on non-ironing clothes.
tell me that tomorrow will be a better day.. i just got a month to go before the long awaiting holidays come.